It’s taken me some time to write this next update for my learning journal. There have been challenges to process over the last couple of months, but one thing is still clear to me – the things I learnt on ORSC Fundamentals helped me in the challenges I faced.
My relationship with my son has developed. I have realised that addressing his feelings in an abstract frame helps us both to work through whatever challenge we are going through, without placing blame or assigning – or assuming – certain feelings. “I can feel that there is upset going on here” goes down so much better than “you’re feeling sad.” Who am I to choose just one emotion out of the multitude flying around his head?!
Similarly, I have reframed the conversations I have had with other family members. “How does that [situation] make you feel?” This curiosity brings out so much more honesty, openness, and connection than assuming people’s emotions such as “that must have p*ssed you off!”
I’ve never talked so frankly and deeply with my family than I have since taking Fundamentals. This has allowed our unit to grow together.
There has also been development in my business life. When faced with a challenging situation, I’ve started to suggest face-to-face conversations to work through issues. In the past I would take offence at an email, which I may have read in the wrong way, or feel defensive at the thought of a potential discussion where there may be conflict. None of these responses resolve the problem. All these responses have a negative impact on me, on my relationships at work and with the way I think about the work environment. Instead of letting my past experiences affect how I deal with situations, I have taken a new and enlightened path with face-to-face, honest and open dialogue, helping issues to be resolved in a much gentler way that doesn’t involve a war cry!
Moving forward, I’m still processing what I’ve learnt and gently applying it to all aspects of my life so that the change is gradual and long-lasting rather than a “hit it and quit it” attitude that never sticks for long.
